first day of daycare

I woke up at 5:45am when daddy got up to workout and laid there and watched you sleep. I dreaded 6:30am because that's when today would officially start.Once it did you were super happy. You sat in your bouncy seat until I was finished showering and then daddy was home so you rode your horsey until he was ready to take a shower and he brought you back up to sit in your bouncy seat....and you pooped. Other than the unexpected poop, the morning went well. This was by far the earliest you have ever gotten up in your entire life! Daddy and I decided to dress you in an owl onesie for comfort and cuteness. We went to Sally's together. I started tearing up in the garage. Daddy carried you out to my car and he followed us in his truck. He carried you in and reminded me to bring the camera. You were using your pacifier. You were happy. I was more sad than I have ever been. You smiled at Sally so much you pacifier fell out of your mouth! A little 7 month old boy wanted to peer in at you in your seat...you smiled at him too. I asked questions about being able to come back and get you for lunch etc. I felt like I was in the twilight zone. Daddy and I only stayed for a few minutes and Daddy said he had to get to work...and I did too. So we walked out. I was crying, it makes me teary eyed now to remember how hard it was to walk out without you. Once outside Daddy kissed me and told me he loved me and that everything would be alright...I wasn't sure I could leave. But I did and I really don't remember much about the drive to school, other than a phone call I made to a friend to blubber into the phone about how messed up our society was for me to have to drop you off for someone else to raise while I went off to raise other people's kids. I was really sad.

YOU had a blast. At noon I went back to Sally's to pick you up. You were asleep in a swing with your dolphin and your little fingers stretched out. You have never looked so precious. I teared up and asked if I should leave you asleep. I of course knew the answer, but I wanted to touch you and smell you and hold you so badly...but the good mother in me begged to be strong and let you sleep. That is what was best for you. Ughh...so I just watched you swing. I'm sure that image will forever be ingrained in my memory...just like the day you were born, or when daddy asked me to marry him. That is what kind of day today was for me. And for you too...only on a different level. You had a blast. You smiled and laughed alllllll day! Sally said she was so impressed with you. She said you were so happy, that when she was feeding you she had to stop chatting with you because you kept laughing and smiling at her and the milk was rolling out the sides of your mouth. She said you took a bottle at 8am and napped for 45 mins. and then bounced and walked in the walker and played with the other kids laughing and smiling...they loved you and you loved them! Around 9:30am you took another bottle and slept in the swing until 12:30pm...you slept right through my visit :) After your snooze you played with Sally on the floor on some pillows and then fell asleep again (remember we have been sleeping until 10 or so all of your life) I'm not sure how long you slept that time, but when I got to Sally's at 3:30pm you were outside in the walker and seemed so happy. Sally said, "look Garrity, Mommy's here," and you didn't hear my voice...I looked at you and said, " she has already forgotten me" and you looked at me and smiled like you never have before, and threw your head back and gave me a huge squeal! It was one of the best moments of my life! I picked you up and immediately realized that you smelled different than you usually do...just from being outside and just the smell of Sally's house....just different. It broke my heart for some reason. But if felt so fantastic to hold you in my arms...I didn't care how you smelled...you were back in my arms! As I carried you to the car, a little boy ran up to the fence and called out "bye Garrity!" It was really surreal, you are a big kid now...you have friends! We  had to run some errands to Wal-Mart. You fussed on the way so I put your pacifier in your mouth, you took it yet again!

Once home, you nursed until Daddy came home and we played until you nursed and napped for a really long time.  Uncle Darrick stopped by to see how we made it through today, Grandma H. called to see how today went, and Blair, and the Hawks, and Sara Parrack, and finally Aunt Brooke. Around 8:45pm I gave you a bath and now you are sleeping on my lap while I type. You fell asleep upstairs with Daddy, but we are downstairs again...for a little while longer :) It feels like summer, you asleep, me typing...Big Brother 12 on the t.v., and soon we will watch Medium and fall asleep. We made it...I made it, you loved it...I'm certain you are dreaming about the kids and hoping that tomorrow will be as much fun as today. No doubt I will dream that the summer has just begun.  I love you so much, and while every single day is precious, the days are slipping by so quickly now that you are in our lives!